Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I'm SOBBING!

Well, not really but I'm on the verge of it!

My friend gave me a book last week called, 'Strangling Your Husband Is Not an Option' by Merrilee Browne Boyack. Some of you have already heard of it or even read it! I'm not too familiar with Deseret Book Authors yet. I'm pretty new at it. My dad always downed on those types of books because he thought the writing was poor and trivial. So, I never gave them a chance, until now!
This book is a Practical Guide to improving yourself as a wife and your marriage. I never realized how much I've been doing WRONG! No wonder why marriage has been so challenging lately! I literally feel so bad and AWAKENED!
Out of respect for my husband, I'm not going to get into details but I will say things about myself. I am a bit of a feminist; in a negative way. I think feminism is great, in the positive spectrum of it and not taken overboard. I am always running on my agenda, things done my way, because 'I'm a woman and I should never submit to a MAN!' That's been my attitude lately. To a certain extent, it's fine but when it becomes completely self-absorbed, then there's a problem!
I value marriage. I value families. But do I value MY marriage? Am I married to my kids or am I married to Boriuca? 'Cuz lately, it's felt like I've been married to my kids! lol. Our life revolves around our kids. We never take time for each other. I can't remember the last time we went out on a date! We've never spent an overnight without our kids. EVER. His body rhythm is awake in the morning and a zombie by 9:00 pm. I'm the complete opposite. Finding a balance has been extremely tricky.
Here are some questions for you to ask yourself if you're married:

  • Do your kids stay up past 9:00-9:30 pm in the main family area?
  • Do you go out with your hubby, without kids, at least 3 times a month?
  • Have you been gone overnight without your kids and with your husband within the past year?
  • Think about the last time you bought your kids a treat-do you buy your hubby a treat just as often?
  • Analyze your conversations with your husband when it's just the two of you- do you spend more than 50% of the time discussing your kids?

So, what are you putting before your relationship/or not?

My answers were: yes, no,no,no,yes.

Sad eh?

2008 is the year for CHANGE!!!!!

3 comments:

jlk said...

Oh, goodness! I know where you're coming from on this. Just do your best and make a visible effort. This will help your hubby make efforts as well. Things will get better!

Emily Snow said...

yes, no, no, no (although I do buy him treats--just not as often as I do for the kids), yes--for me.

We haven't gone out without the kids since we moved to Germany. I talked to a babysitter last night and I think we're going to shoot for the last weekend this month.

Going somewhere overnight without them is not an option for us. We'd worry too much about them. We've only left Thomas with my mom overnight and since she's in UT that's not an option!

Good luck with the new inspiration and the effort that you will put forth! I'm sure you will see a difference!

Emily Snow said...

Oh, boy, I'm not with it yet this morning...

It's no, no, no, no and no for me! I read your answers and got them stuck in my head, I think!