Sunday, April 13, 2008

I'm a blogger slacker...so let me UPDATE!

I haven't been in the mood to stay day to day with my silly little blog. I guess I've wanted to keep things under wraps lately. I'm going through alot rightnow but it could be alot worse than it is.
ECONOMY??~ What is going on with the Economy? No wonder why we need food storage! I'm starting to wonder! We filled out gas tank the other day and it was 60.00 dollars! As compared to a few months ago, it was 40.00 and that was still expensive! We are struggling financially rightnow. It never ends! It's an ongoing financial battle. It...never...ENDS!!! I'm getting really tired of living paycheck to paycheck. It's mentally draining because I'm constantly stressing out! So, with this in mond, we've decided to move back out west where it's a little more affordable. Now, I'm worried if the Economy will even let us! With finding a job and buying a home and all...and I refuse to live in Salt Lake and we might have to for a few months! Oh boy...I REALLY don't like it there. I REALLY DON'T. I'm saying this because there's an internship opportunity there that'd be so wonderful for Boricua! He'd intern for 3 months, get a pay raise and become a regular employee and get another large pay raise 6 month later. It's an IT job. Just what he's been doing for 4 years now. So, it may be Salt Lake. AAHH!!!! It's a wonderful career opportunity for him and if we were to move now, then we'd move now!
MY BROKEN FOOT~ I am miserable and frustrated with it. It's been very hard trying to take care of two toddlers by myself as Boricua is working. I'm stressed out with work amd I can't get up and dance with my students. I've been in pain because I'm not RICE-ing enough. I've tried to limp around on it and I was up all night, swollen, numb and in pain! So, I've been given more vicodin. Gee, hope I don't get addicted to those things! I'm started to not feel the effects of them anymore! is that bad? I've never taken so many pain meds in my life! Like now...I took one over an hour ago and I don't feel a thing. I've already lost 200 dollars in wages due to this injury. I luckily may get Workers Compensation but I haven't heard from my boss about it yet...and the bills are starting to pour in!! So far, it's not too bad. My radiology bill was only 31.00. I lucked out too because my doctor(podiatrist) is the family I nannyed for and they're taking care of me(They're a couple who own a practice). I text messsage Dr T all of the time. I'm probably driving him crazy!! Hey, I may be milking it but I've never broken a foot before and I kind of wish I got it out of the way when I was a teenager. Because it's been one of the most difficult things I've had to go through. Not as bad as having Bulimia but darn near close. Haggling with kids, work and family; without being able to drive or walk..it's been a struggle, to say the least. I'm getting impatient with my immobility. I just feel my foot experiencing atrophy and my hips collecting more fat cells. The top two things a dancer DOES NOT want! I can't fathom enough, how hard it's been!
MY MESSY HOME~ I can't clean my place like I usually do with my immobility and I've had to leave a bulk of the chores to Boricua. He is not a very good housekeeper. The bathroom and kithen floor is gross, the carpet is so gross, the walls have marks all over them, the toilet is dirty, there's clothes everywhere and the beds are never made!! There was PILES of clothes on the couch in our room, sitting there for almost 2 weeks!! I finally got Boricua to do it but he didn't even do all of it. I had to hop around on one foot, trying to put the clothes away. I couldn't take it anymore. The kids closet is SO aweful. Their toys are in disarray. Boricua's idea of putting the toys aways is throwing them in the closet. As with putting their clothes away too! the counter tops are sticky and we have piles of dirty laundry. There's noway I can do laundry! W have to walk to another unit. That's going down 3 flights of stairs, walking down 3 buildings and going down another set of stairs. Plus carry your big load! Uh, that aint happenin'! Boricua is generally good with laundry. The only thing is; he waits until we have 10-15 loads to do and then throws them on the couch after they're done. I'm expected to fold and put them away. So, they end up getting wrinkly! I shouldn't complain though! Atleast he's doing it! The other thing; I can barely cook dinner. We've had frozen, processed food or have had to eat out. I haven't liked it. Although I've had some WONDERFUL friends who've helped me out with meals! That's been great!
Well, let's hope I can get off my crutches this Wednesday! I'll be getting X-rays to see how I'm progressing! I hope and pray I can bare weight on this foot. I don't care about keeping the boot on for the next 6 weeks! I just want to walk and drive again! I'm SURE boricua does too!
My SELF IMAGE~ sucks right now. I feel ugly and fat. I have ZERO romance in my life and I miss it. My skin is WHITE, my clothes are bad and I'm not in shape! It's horrible! Oh, how I wish I could jog to get rid of this weight! I can't stand it anymore! I am finally starting to wean with Wise and hopefully my weight will come off faster! No, I don't lose weight when I breastfeed! I lose weight weight when I STOP breastfeeding! But now, my breasts are nice a saggy! It's sad at 24 years old! I feel my husband isnt attracted to me anymore. He looks at me funny and is not interested in romance by any means! I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think this sums it all up. It's 1:30 am and I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed. I've gotta hit teh sack!
Until next time!!!!

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