My how a month and a half brings change!

I did not realize its been this long since I last posted! I read my last post and my, a lot has happened!

Stemming from the last post, yes,I did teach Zumba that night. I had a huge class and went balls to the wall! Well, that ended up being my last class! I started feeling really funny after class and noticed on going contractions. I ended up in Labor and Delivery the next morning getting contractions monitored. I was only 26 weeks and 1 day along. I had to be at the hospital alone because dad was working, as with everyone else. Its was the scariest and loneliest experience. They put me on activity restrictions afterwards and I haven't been the Zumba queen since...

I also went through a very serious bout of depression. It was so severe, my Dr wanted me to go to the ER for immediate help. Everything happened all at once too. I literally didn't want to live. I was second guessing pregnancy and even myself. I've not Felt that much despair and pain ever. This has been a very emotional pregnancy.

On top of that, I was having dealings with my dance company and some members. My co-director decided to go and start her own company, in the height of all the madness. It was a huge blow, even though it was in the best interest for each other. I felt I was conspired against by people I ensured my trust in and blamed for someone's lack of personal growth, which killed me. I didn't want to carry on after that. I too noticed lack of respect and integrity for fellow people I thought respected me. It was really hard to go through and a lot of tears were shed. I try to do the best I can each day and give others the honesty, loyalty and respect they deserve. I realized with this experience, I can't give everyone the benefit of the doubt and fully trust in someone, when I have reserved feelings or angst before I make co-op decisions. It was a good learning lesson and my company dance season has now ended! It was too stressful at this time and I needed to focus on my health and this baby. I'm happy to say, I'm so relieved from such burden and love a more simplified life! I AM NOT SUPER WOMAN!!!! I am DONE WITH DANCE POLITICS!! I'm burnt out from trying to make a name for myself and scouting talent, when I get burned in return. I'm done with the cutthroat mentality. I'm done trying to be the best! Its taken too much time and energy away from my family. Dance will always be a part of my life in ways but I'm currently retired!!

Now that I'm feeling much better and mentally stable, life is good! I have little challenges that arise but they always go away. I'm busy taking care of a family and getting ready to bring my baby girl into the World! We financially struggle, have been sick, worry if we will get the baby gear we need, cram our way through school and have one car to share... But we are warm, safe, happy, healthy and have family and friends that love us!!